So, Saturday morning started with me running around the house looking for my phone. This used to be a regular occurrence as between the years of 2009 and 2016 I either lost, broke or had my phone stolen approximately 22 times. I’m not going to lie and deny that most of these incidents didn’t involve alcohol, but it got to the point that I received a formal letter from Vodafone informing me that they would no longer insure me. I genuinely thought I had passed this stage, so I was relieved when I found it in the laundry basket after getting Kyle to ring it 3 times.

I was going to the hairdressers that morning and had to be there for 10am. Needless to say I was rushing around to get there to still arrive 5 minutes late. I must be the only female in the world that hates having my hair done. I love the end result, but I hate just sitting there and relaxing. I kid you not but nearly 5 hours later and it was finished. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I’d spent the last hour with ants in my pants as I just wanted to get out of the chair.

I met Kyle and the kids and nipped to Wilkinson’s where the shop assistant at the till was wearing some kind of wig for charity. As I was paying, Charlie just kept repeating “her hair mummy, it is not good” whilst pointing directly in her face.  I completely blanked him and chatted to the girl on the till as if ignoring him would mean that nobody else could hear him either. She did hear him. She did not look happy.

On Sunday morning I decided that we would go swimming and take my niece Macy. We met some friends with their little girl in there. I realised within the first 5 minutes why we don’t go swimming often. Charlie clung to Kyle like a small monkey and wouldn’t let go. Within 5 minutes Charlie needed a wee, then after getting back in the pool Macy needed a wee and then Charlie needed a poo. I was in and out of that pool like a yo-yo.  I had managed to keep my hair dry even though the pool was full of screaming kids splashing and jumping in, until I got hold of Charlie who managed to drench my hair after about 20 seconds. My hair had stayed nice from the hairdressers for all of 20 hours woo hoo!

After 20 minutes Charlie was cold and wanted to get out, so I got out and changed him and took him outside to my mum who was looking after Jorgie. I then got back in the pool with Macy who was the opposite to Charlie and didn’t want to get out. After bribing her with the promise of going on the park and coming swimming again soon and she eventually agreed to get out. I got her changed and managed to get changed myself. The moral of the story is don’t go swimming or only go irregularly like once a year or something. It’s not worth the hassle.

We went to the park in the afternoon and got some cakes from the Bakery in Uppermill. Charlie had a really nice looking chocolate cake but as always, he didn’t want that as he always needs what I’ve got no matter what it is. After eating all of the custard out of my Manchester tart with his mucky fingers he then said, “I don’t like custard” and went back to eating his chocolate cake. And yes, the diet and healthy eating for the whole family is going really well.

I took the dog out later on with Charlie who decided to pick horse poo up with a stick and then flick it at the dog and pull it off the stick with his bare hands. Ideal. At least this was after the Manchester tart.

I got home to get ready as we were going out for tea with friends. I only ended up having 5 minutes to get ready as Kyle had decided that it would be more useful to empty the water from the big paddling pool which has been there for over 5 weeks than to get the kids bags ready for going out.

We set off late to meet our friends and decided to walk 20 minutes uphill so any effort I had made to look half decent resulted in me looking like a red sweaty mess when we eventually got there. Just before we got there Charlie said, “Mummy Mummy there’s a dead mouse down here that I want to show you”.  Fabulous. There’s nothing I would rather view more just before my tea. And that just about rounded the weekend off nicely.

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