So last week we decided to book tickets for Gulliver’s World. We decided on today because it’s Monday and we thought it would be quieter. First error. It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is during the school holidays. It’s busy every day.

I got up early to walk the dog, pack the car and get a picnic ready. Everything was going well until Charlie decided he wanted the crusty cob I had packed for his lunch, for his breakfast instead. I tried to explain that I only had one left and it was for him to eat for his dinner, but I soon realised that negotiating with one of the panel from Dragon’s Den would be easier than trying to argue with him.

We eventually settled on strawberries which I lovingly chopped into a bowl for him to then complain that he didn’t want strawberries and wanted a slice of bread and butter instead.

Amazingly we were on the road for 9.30am as we were meeting my mum, dad and niece and my nanna, auntie and cousins and their kids. Charlie moaned all the way there that he didn’t like the music I was playing and proceeded to cover both ears with his hands. He now also doesn’t like motorways which is news to me and kept insisting I need to drive slower.

I soon realised this was going to be hard work when I pulled into the extremely busy car park. After toilet trips, multiple fruit shoots and the general excitement of arriving we were ready to hit the park.  All was going well. We didn’t really que for the first few rides, and the kids were behaving but this was short-lived and soon we had the first accident when Charlie decided to run straight into a wall after excitedly spotting a puddle of water.

You could hear his screams all over the park and I realised why when I saw the state of his knees. They were all cut open and dripping blood. This attracted the attention of one of the park assistants who then proceeded to call the first aid team who arrived to patch up his knees. Perfect. I didn’t feel guilty or like I was an irresponsible parent at all. In fairness, the staff were excellent, and Charlie was back up and running around in no time.

We then decided to que for the caterpillar ride and the sun was now shining and all was good again until we were about three people from the front of the que when I could feel my top was really wet and realised that Charlie, who I had been carrying had wee’d his pants. He then decided he now didn’t want to go on the ride, so I had to come out of the que to then re-join the back of it 10 minutes later when he changed his mind and decided that actually he did now want to go on it.

Lunch could not come quick enough, so we found a nice spot on the grass to eat our sandwiches.  One of my cousins then had a great idea of trying to get a photo of all the kids together thinking it would be nice to have a photo of the ‘next generation’ so to speak. It would have been easier trying to herd, capture and shear a flock of sheep than to get the kids to all stay in one place and look at the camera at the same time. We tried for a good 15 minutes and managed to get a picture of some kind, although it won’t be winning any photography competitions any time soon.

The afternoon mainly consisted of queuing up for rides whilst watching fellow parents suffer with their kids whinging that they didn’t want to que or that they need a wee or want an ice cream. We tried to pass the time in the que with ‘I Spy’. Macy, my niece seemed to get the hang of this quite quickly, whilst Charlie did not – “I spy with my little eye something beginning with tree”. Right okay “is it a tree?” to which he replied “yeah”, and this game continued with several more objects.

It was soon home time after a fun packed day and I was in for a treat with a nice quiet car trip home when both Jorgie and Charlie fell asleep. It was gone 6pm when we got home, and normal chaos ensued.  Jorgie screamed the place down whilst I cooked the tea, Charlie was stood on a chair trying to syringe calpol into his mouth and I realised the dog had escaped and was wondering around the drive when I heard crying and scratching at the front door.

After threatening to take Charlie’s comfort toy George away for the night because he had wee’d twice in his pants I caved in when he looked at me and said, “Mummy I’m going to give you a kiss and a hug and my knees hurt”. Yes, I am a weak parent but finally it was bed time and I could stuff my face with chocolate and fall asleep on the sofa at 9pm. Until tomorrow when we go again.

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