I found my glasses at the bottom of my handbag yesterday and when I put them on they were all bent and crooked, but I had no choice but to wear them as I don’t have any spares.  I just ignored the funny looks and the fact that I felt like I was viewing the world from a side wards angle and thought I would persevere until today.

So, after picking Charlie up from nursery today we went to Specsavers where I was informed that the last pair of glasses I bought were in 2014. After 5 minutes of browsing the selection I realised why I probably hadn’t attempted to buy any for 4 years. Charlie just kept shouting “Mummy buy the red ones”. I tried to blank him out as Kyle was stood with him but then he shouted across the whole shop “I need some new glasses Mummy. I’ve lost my other ones”. This was brand new information as he had never even tried a pair of glasses on let alone need them on prescription. He continued with “I can’t see anything, I can’t see Mummy, I need some glasses now” whilst he received some sympathetic glances from elderly people in the shop.

In the end I rushed to pick a pair as it was easier to pick a pair that I might not be 100% happy with than to listen to Charlie for another 10 minutes. I’ve not had a good week so far. I’ve been in a very hormonal and irrational mood where I feel like I could explode at any moment. I went to the gym on Tuesday and the vending machine was broken so I couldn’t get a bottle of water. I asked the café to sell me one, but they said they weren’t open, so I went to the gym and when I got in there I thought I can’t possibly do any exercise without any water, so I walked straight back out to my car where I burst into tears and proceeded to dramatically cry for 10 minutes.

I’d fallen down the stairs at my best friend’s house earlier in the week with Jorgie (thankfully in her car seat) and bruised all my arse and it really hurt but it was really funny, so I laughed even though part of me secretly wanted to cry. Charlie has been an absolute shit. I feel like all I have done is shout at him all week.

He decided at the start of the week that he was no longer going to use the toilet but just continuously wee in his pants. One day after I had changed his pants 7 times, he’d stood on Jorgie, drawn on the kitchen floor, and during the day I had spent 25 minutes negotiating with him to come off a climbing frame I totally lost my cool.  I must have looked desperate as I had 5 small unknown children to me, who were all trying to become my allies in trying to get him off the sodding climbing frame.

He stressed me out so much the other day that I had a toy car and a piece of bread and butter in my hands so I tried to throw the car across the living room into his toy box only for him to come into the kitchen 5 minutes later and ask me “Mummy, why are you throwing bread and butter around the living room?”

Kyle shouted me into the toilet the other day because he couldn’t believe the size of the poo that Charlie had managed to squeeze out. I stood in disbelief looking at the turd that was currently blocking the toilet and in turn looking at Charlie and trying to understand how something so monstrous had come out of someone so tiny.

Charlie’s bedtime stalling tactics have also driven me insane this week. After putting him to bed he must shout me about 20 times in the hour that follows because he needs another bedtime story, he needs some socks on, he needs a wee, he needs a poo, he needs me to pull his covers up, he needs a drink. The list is endless and quite nearly sent me into melt down at the start of the week.

Back to today and before even hitting Specsavers we had parked the car in the multi storey and I had put Charlie’s pringles on a wall behind the car without realising that there was a sheer drop to the street below. I only saw it was there when I looked over the wall to see the pigeons feasting on the pile of pringles that had landed in the middle of the pavement. Not learning from my mistake, Kyle then put Jorgie’s milk bottle on the wall and that also fell off and narrowly missed someone’s head who was walking below. We then had to sheepishly walk down and pick it up off the street, so we already looked like the crazy family and we hadn’t even entered the shopping precinct yet.

The day ended taking Jorgie for her injections and she screamed that much that I swear they could hear her in the Himalayas. She’s also had a bad week with falling down the stairs and being stood on but just as I am absolutely pulling my hair out Charlie comes out with “Mummy I’m going to rub your back and give you a love and a kiss. I love you.” And just like that my heart melts and I begin to think that he isn’t Satan in disguise and my life isn’t actually too bad after all.

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