I’ve noticed some significant differences in the way birthdays are celebrated before and after you have children.
1.Before you have children, you get to leisurely open all your birthday presents, examining each item whilst stacking the pile up neatly on the table. After you have kids you don’t get to open any presents at all. In fact, they are no longer your presents. They become your kids. From ripping open the paper to excitedly throwing the gifts on the floor. They then take a shine to a particular present that they carry round all day. Of course, what 3 year old wouldn’t want a pair of size 5 adult hunter wellies or a New Look gift card?
2.You enjoy a girl’s night out before having kids. You look forward to it all week. After picking a new outfit, spending a few hours getting ready, you have a few drinks before hitting the bars. You party hard and roll in at 3am. Your lucky to even get a shower when you try to get ready with children. You spend more time taking make-up off them than putting it on yourself. You end up getting changed twice before you even get out the door due to vomit or food stains. Your make-up is slapped on within 10 seconds and your hair is a mere shadow of what it used to be. Once you get out you worry about dealing with your little angels the next day, whilst sporting a hangover so you end up drinking 70% less than what you used to and are home by mid-night.
3.After previously getting spoiled on your birthday with breakfast in bed or a candlelit bath, this is no longer possible with kids. You are still a mum which means poo explosions, vomit, tantrums, mess and general chaos. Instead of going for a nice meal you end up picking an activity to do which they enjoy (park or play centre). This ends with a visit to McDonalds on the way home. You lucky human.
4.Gone are the days of blowing the candles out on your birthday cake. Remember it is no longer your birthday cake. It is your children’s, as is the huge box of luxury chocolates you have been given as a present. You then have the joy of dealing with your toddler as they act like a drunken maniac tearing around the house like a super charged duracell bunny. This is due to the sugar overload they have just indulged in. So much fun.
5.You end the day feeling like you have won the lottery when your husband runs you a hot bath and offers to do the bedtime routine. Although birthdays have changed, you do get to spend them with your favourite little people. It is by no means relaxing, but it does make you smile and laugh for most of the day with your little ones whilst thinking back to what your birthdays used to be like.